Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
