Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
