i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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