Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
