You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
