It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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