batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
