I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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