Where is the hickey?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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