Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
