So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
