you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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