I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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