well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Randomize
