does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
