and you said cock pushups were impossible
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
