I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
