Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
