I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
