this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
