I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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