we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
