I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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