I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
