before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
