rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
