I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
