I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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