i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
