I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Alive.
So much puke
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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