I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
