Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
