this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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