he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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