Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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