Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
The convent might be a nice break from real life
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
