I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
