my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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