do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
