Can i not drive my cunt home
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
