last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
