booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
