i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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