at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
