Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Come see our sink grown plant.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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