I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
