We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
