Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
