I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
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