there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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