we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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