god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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