Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
