So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
