is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
