Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
