Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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