my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
