If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
that's an acceptable place to lick
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
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