You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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