there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
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