I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Panties = found
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
