I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
