You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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