I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
